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Valentine Dilemma

Last year I celebrated my Valentine’s Day with a boom, after having one of my biggest confessions in my life (it happened last Feb. 8) and yes it was also the happiest. But I felt a little bit annoyed when February has dropped again this year, I cannot get over with the special feeling I’m still keeping from this world. Only my close friends and members of my peer group had the opportunity to hear it straight from me, I know I wasn’t thought to believe in this kind of feeling towards someone who’s strange and weird in some sense.

I know goodbye is an easy word to say and give away but doing this and mean about this is not me. As a human, I believed that if it’s really love, letting go and moving on is the hardest part of life. Relating this to the upcoming event, I find it hard to talk and push myself to abstain from that person. Though there are instances when absence allow me to think that I can yet what I thought is just an illusion. Having that someone is like a dream come true, some one who can make brighten up even my darkest hour, in contrary, the same person who can zap my world and turn me into pieces (and it hurts!)

letting go
It’s true that being love makes everyone crazy, fall into traps, and turn this world round and round.

So this valentine season, I’m not expecting anything from anyone, yet I’m expecting reformation and improvements in me so that I will not be left behind and lost in love.

That’s what I’m afraid of, the reason I’m in panic state of my youth life, losing someone I love and having those I can’t even give love to.

To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia. –HL Mecnchen
(so stupid, right! But very true!)